Spoiler Machine Review: Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend
Tomoya: So, let me get this straight. We’re making a game about raising a boring girlfriend, right? How exciting…
Megumi: Well, that’s the point! It’s supposed to be a parody of dating sims. You know, where the protagonist has to navigate the highs and lows of love and… boredom?
Tomoya: Boring is right! But wait, isn’t this meant to be a serious game? I mean, we’re up against Utaha and Eriri, who just left us for greener pastures. Talk about a blow to the ego!
Megumi: Exactly! And with Winter Comiket breathing down our necks, we can’t afford to screw this up. We need to channel all our creative energy—
Tomoya: Right, because nothing screams creativity like a dull protagonist who can’t even pick a favorite color. Remember when we thought this would be smooth sailing?
Iori: (entering dramatically) Did someone say smooth sailing? Because I’m here to rock the boat! Who needs boring when you can have drama? Let me add some spice!
Izumi: (rolling her eyes) Spice? You mean distractions! We’re here to develop a game, not a soap opera. Let’s focus on the task at hand!
Tomoya: (sighing) Right. But every time I turn around, it’s like we’re living in a rom-com where nothing goes as planned. First, we lost Utaha and Eriri, then we had that whole fiasco with the character designs—
Megumi: Don’t remind me! The character models were so off, even the NPCs looked confused. But hey, at least we have Katou, who’s somehow the most relatable and least boring character in this mess.
Tomoya: True! Megumi is the anchor of this ship. But seriously, how do we balance friendship and game development? I feel like I’m constantly choosing between helping you guys or meeting deadlines.
Iori: (smirking) Maybe you should just give up and let your friends down. Isn’t that the true essence of a boring girlfriend—unfulfilled expectations?
Izumi: (facepalming) Are we really going to get philosophical about a dating sim? Listen, Tomoya, just remember that life isn’t a game, but it sure feels like one when you’re trying to manage everyone’s feelings!
Tomoya: (dramatically) And that’s how I ended up in a love triangle with my game and my friends. Spoiler alert: the game wins every time! But wait, there’s more!
Megumi: (gasping) Are you about to spoil the ending? You can’t just drop that bomb without warning!
Tomoya: Oh, I’m going there. So after countless setbacks, a lot of awkward moments, and some surprisingly deep character development, we finally finish the game. And guess what? It’s a hit! But it’s also a bittersweet ending because no one got the girl. Talk about a plot twist!
Iori: (laughing) So basically, we raised a boring girlfriend, but all we got was a game and a bunch of unresolved feelings?
Izumi: (nodding) Sounds about right! Welcome to game development! It’s like dating, but with more code and fewer happy endings.
Tomoya: And that, my friends, is how to raise a boring girlfriend. Remember, if you can’t find love, just create it… in a video game! Now, who’s ready for Comiket?
All: (in unison) Let’s go ruin some dreams!