Surprise, Surprise: A Spoiler-Filled Recap
Walter Faraday: (gasping his last breath) “You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”
Police Officer: “Well, that’s the plan!” (cue dramatic music as Walter meets his unfortunate end with 500 kg of opium in tow)
Fast forward a year later… Enter Gloria Tatlock:
Gloria: “I’m here to save the world, one opium-laced soldier at a time!”
Random Local: “Lady, you’re in Shanghai, not a pharmacy!”
Gloria, the all-American missionary, is determined to find the opium that Walter left behind. Why? Because nothing says “compassion” like using narcotics to heal war wounds. She’s got a one-way ticket back to the U.S. as her bargaining chip. Talk about a high-stakes game of “Let’s Make a Deal!”
Glendon Wasey: (leaning against a wall, chewing on something) “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
Gloria: “I need your help to find some lost opium.”
Glendon: “Is that a pickup line? Because I’m intrigued.”
So, they team up. Gloria brings the heart, and Glendon brings the street smarts (and a questionable moral compass). Together, they embark on a wild chase through the shadowy underbelly of occupied Shanghai, where everyone seems to be looking for the same stash of opium. It’s like a twisted game of hide-and-seek, except everyone’s armed and the stakes are higher than a kite on a windy day.
Gloria: “I can’t believe we’re being chased by gangsters!”
Glendon: “Welcome to Shanghai, sweetheart. It’s a real kick in the opium!”
As the duo dodges bullets and bad guys, they encounter a series of colorful characters who range from the hilariously incompetent to the downright terrifying. There’s a gang of rival smugglers who are less interested in sharing and more interested in shooting. And just when you think Gloria and Glendon are in the clear, plot twists come flying in like they’re on a rollercoaster!
Rival Smuggler: “You think you can just waltz in and take what’s ours?”
Glendon: “I thought this was a dance competition!”
In the end, after a series of narrow escapes, betrayals, and a surprising amount of witty banter, Gloria realizes that maybe using opium isn’t the best way to heal the wounded. Who knew? Instead, she decides to take a stand for something greater, and Glendon? Well, he’s just there for the ride (and the occasional wisecrack).
Gloria: “I’ve learned so much about compassion.”
Glendon: “And I’ve learned that I should never get involved with a woman who thinks opium is a healing balm.”
In a final twist, they manage to outsmart the gangsters and rescue the opium, but instead of selling it, they turn it over to the authorities. A heroic ending, or just a case of bad business sense? You decide!
So, if you’re looking for a film that combines action, humor, and a dash of moral ambiguity, “Surprise, Surprise” is your ticket. Just remember: in Shanghai, the only thing more dangerous than opium is a witty dialogue!