Presumed Innocent: A Whodunit with a Side of Scandal
Rusty: So, let me get this straight. I’m a prosecutor, right? And I’m having an affair with my colleague, Carolyn Polhemus, who just so happens to be found dead in a rather gruesome way. What could possibly go wrong?
Barbara: Oh, I don’t know, Rusty. Maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to mix business with pleasure! But hey, I’m here for you, even though I’ve always known about your little rendezvous.
Rusty: Thanks, love. Now I just have to figure out how to prove I didn’t do it. It’s not like I was found at the crime scene or anything… oh wait, I was! And the police are looking at me like I’m the main course at a buffet!
Detective Lipranzer: Well, Rusty, you’re definitely not making this easy for yourself. I mean, you’ve got motive, opportunity, and a whole lot of ‘I should have kept it in my pants’ vibes going on.
Rusty: Can’t a guy have a little fun without ending up in jail? I mean, it’s just a little affair… with a dead woman. What’s the worst that could happen?
Barbara: Oh, I don’t know, maybe you could end up hiring the worst lawyer in the world? Or better yet, the best one who happens to be a bit of a loose cannon?
Rusty: Enter the charmingly unhinged defense attorney, who definitely has my back, even if he’s more interested in theatrics than actual law. He’s going to make this trial a circus!
Defense Attorney: Alright, Rusty, here’s the plan: we throw enough spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. You didn’t do it, right? Right?
Rusty: Well, I mean… I did have a motive and a very questionable alibi. But I swear, I’m innocent! Just look at my wife; she believes me!
Detective Lipranzer: Sure, and I’m the Queen of England. You’re going to need more than just your wife’s blind faith to get out of this one, buddy.
Barbara: Rusty, it’s time to come clean. We both know the truth. I’ve known about your affair since day one, but I chose to stick around. Now, let’s just hope the jury is as forgiving as I am.
Rusty: So, you’re saying I should throw myself at their mercy? “Please, dear jury, I didn’t mean to have a torrid affair and then accidentally end up in a murder mystery!” Sounds like a solid plan!
Detective Lipranzer: You might want to rethink that approach. But hey, anything is better than being found guilty. Just remember, Rusty, the truth is a slippery slope, especially when you’re the one at the bottom of it.
Rusty: Well, let’s just say that by the end of this, I’ll either be a free man or the star of my own prison drama. Spoiler alert: it’s going to be a nail-biter!
Barbara: And if you do end up in prison, I’ll be there waiting with a file in a cake. Just don’t take too long, darling!
Rusty: Now that’s the kind of support I can get behind! Here’s to hoping I don’t become the main course at the buffet of justice!