Animal Kingdom: A Family Reunion You Never Wanted
Picture this: a young lad named Joshua “J” Cody, who’s just trying to navigate the treacherous waters of adolescence while living in a family that makes the Addams Family look like the Brady Bunch. J’s 17 and, bless his heart, he’s been thrown into the deep end of the dysfunctional gene pool. His mother, who’s about as nurturing as a cactus, overdoses and leaves him to fend for himself in a world ruled by his crime-laden relatives. Welcome to the Cody clan, where love is as scarce as a sober family dinner!
Now, J is not just your average teenager; he’s got a front-row seat to the most chaotic family drama since the last time the Kardashians had a meltdown. After his mum’s untimely exit from life, he moves in with his estranged family—who just happen to be a bunch of bank-robbing, drug-dealing miscreants. Surprise! Who knew family reunions could be so thrilling?
Enter the Codys, led by matriarch Smurf, who sounds like she should be hosting a children’s show but instead is running a crime syndicate. Smurf, played by Ellen Barkin, proves that behind every great criminal is a woman who can wield a frying pan and a fearsome glare. She’s got three sons: Pope, the brooding wild card; Baz, the wannabe businessman with a penchant for bad decisions; and Deran, who’s got more issues than Vogue. It’s like a reality show, but with more guns and fewer selfies.
As J tries to find his footing, he becomes the unwilling participant in the family’s illicit escapades. Think of him as the innocent lamb being led to the slaughterhouse, except the slaughterhouse is a bank heist gone wrong. Spoiler alert: it does go wrong, and things get messy—like spaghetti on a first date messy. The family dynamics are as twisted as a pretzel in a funhouse mirror, filled with betrayals and secrets that would put any soap opera to shame.
Meanwhile, there’s a detective lurking in the shadows, like a cat waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting mouse. This detective sees J’s plight and decides that rescuing him from his family is akin to saving a kitten from a tree. But let’s be honest, J’s family is less like a tree and more like a raging bonfire. The detective’s attempts to pull J away from the Codys are about as effective as trying to stop a freight train with a rubber band.
As the plot thickens, J finds himself torn between loyalty to his family and the desire for a normal life—whatever that means when your family tree is more of a bush with a few missing branches. In a series of events that could only be described as “epic,” J’s journey leads to betrayals, confrontations, and a plot twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan weep with envy.
In the end, J learns that sometimes family isn’t just about blood; it’s about survival. And in the Cody household, survival means staying one step ahead of the law, dodging bullets, and trying not to get caught in the crossfire of a family feud that’s more explosive than a firework factory on New Year’s Eve.
So, if you’re looking for a film that combines crime, family dysfunction, and a dash of dark humor, look no further than Animal Kingdom. Just remember, if you’re ever invited to a Cody family gathering, it’s probably best to RSVP with a polite “no thanks.”