Gone Girl: A Modern Shakespearean Spoiler Play

ACT I

SCENE I: A Lament in the Living Room

NICK:
Oh, woe is me! My fair lady, Amy, hath vanished on our wedding day!
What foul trickery doth fate play upon this hapless soul?

MARGO (his sister):
Fear not, dear brother! Though shadows loom, thy innocence shall shine.

NICK:
But lo, the coppers come with eyes of suspicion!
They think I didst smite her for a morsel of dough!

MARGO:
Aye, for thou art but a simple man, caught in a web most twisted.

SCENE II: The Media Circus

REPORTER:
Gather ye round! A tale of love gone awry,
as Nick Dunne doth twirl in the court of public opinion!

NICK:
I am but a pawn in this game!
Amy, wherefore art thou? Dost thou mock me from the shadows?

MARGO:
Nay, Nick! She doth play a game far deeper than thine understanding.

ACT II

SCENE I: The Reveal of the Diary

NICK:
What light through yonder window breaks?
A diary of deception! She hath spun a tale of woe,
making me the villain of this tragic play!

MARGO:
Truly, she hath painted thee a monster,
whilst she doth wear the mask of the victim!

SCENE II: Amy’s Grand Entrance

AMY:
Surprise, thou fool! Didst thou think I would
remain a passive player in this sordid saga?

NICK:
Amy! Thou art alive! But wherefore didst thou
create this tempest of turmoil?

AMY:
For love, dear husband! To teach thee the folly of thy ways!
And also, to frame thee for murder, of course.

ACT III

SCENE I: The Dark Revelation

NICK:
Thy cunning hath turned this home into a hellscape!
What madness hath possessed thee?

AMY:
A madness borne of love, sweet Nick!
I orchestrated this grand illusion,
and now we are bound by the chains of my making.

SCENE II: The Final Twist

NICK:
So, I am but a marionette in thy twisted play?
What of my soul, my heart?

AMY:
Thou shalt play the devoted husband,
for my love is a blade, sharp and true.
And shouldst thou stray, I shall wield it!

EPILOGUE

NICK:
Thus, I am trapped in a gilded cage,
my heart shackled by the very love that doth bind us.

MARGO:
Alas, dear brother, love is a fickle mistress,
and Amy, a tempest that shall never cease.

ALL:
Forsooth, beware the girl who is gone,
for she may return with a vengeance most dire!