Halloween Ends: A Hilarious Farewell to Fear (and Common Sense)
So here we are, four years after the chaos of Halloween Kills, and Laurie Strode, our beloved scream queen, has traded in her butcher knife for a cozy life with her granddaughter Allyson. It’s like a heartwarming family reunion—if your family reunion involved a chainsaw-wielding maniac and existential dread.
Laurie is now a memoir writer, channeling her inner Oprah while trying to shake off the ghost of Michael Myers. And let’s be real, after decades of letting him dictate her life’s narrative, it’s about time she took the wheel. She’s finally decided to embrace life, which, in the world of Halloween, is essentially like wearing a neon sign that says “I’m ready to be terrorized!”
Enter Corey Cunningham, a young man with the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He accidentally kills a kid he’s babysitting—because nothing says “I want to be your friend” like a tragic accident. This incident spirals Corey into a dark path, leading him to become a new vessel of chaos and violence. It’s like the writers thought, “What if we made a slasher movie… but with a side of teen angst?”
As Corey dons the mantle of a wannabe Michael Myers, Laurie must confront her past, which, let’s be honest, is a little like confronting your high school prom photos. The trauma is real, folks! But instead of just dealing with her own demons, Laurie is now faced with the fact that a new killer is on the loose, and this one’s got a tragic backstory that would make even the most hardened therapy veteran shed a tear.
In a cringe-worthy twist, there’s a moment where Laurie tries to bond with Corey, as if they’re in a twisted episode of Dr. Phil. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well for them. In a series of events that can only be described as “why didn’t anyone call the cops earlier?”, we see Corey fully embrace his inner monster, leading to a showdown that’s equal parts thrilling and absurd.
Meanwhile, Laurie’s journey is peppered with moments that feel like they were ripped straight from a sitcom. She’s living her best life until the past comes knocking, and you can practically hear the “dun-dun-dunnn” sound effect every time she reminisces about Michael. And let’s not forget Allyson, who spends most of the film trying to figure out how to exist in a world where her grandmother is a mix of Mary Poppins and a horror movie legend.
As the film reaches its climax, you can’t help but chuckle at the sheer absurdity of it all. Laurie’s final confrontation with Michael is less of a battle and more of a “who can shout the loudest” contest. Spoiler alert: Laurie wins, but not without a few dramatic monologues that would make Shakespeare roll in his grave.
In the end, Halloween Ends serves as a reminder that even in a world filled with masked maniacs, there’s always room for a bit of dark humor and existential dread. It’s a fittingly chaotic conclusion to a franchise that has had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster. So here’s to Laurie, the ultimate survivor, who finally learns that sometimes, the best way to face your fears is with a side of irony and a hefty dose of sarcasm.
Cheers to the end of Halloween! Or is it? Because let’s face it, in the world of horror, it’s never really over. Bring on the next reboot!