Spoiler Machine’s Review of Killers of the Flower Moon
Critic: Well, partner, grab your boots and saddle up because we’re diving into a wild ride through the 1920s in Oklahoma, where the Osage Nation is living high on the hog thanks to some oil riches—until they start getting picked off like characters in a bad horror movie.
Reader: Sounds grim! What’s the deal with the murders?
Critic: Oh, it’s grim alright! It’s like if a family reunion turned into a true crime podcast. The Osage people, who are just trying to enjoy their newfound wealth, suddenly find themselves with a target on their backs. One by one, they’re being bumped off—poisoned, shot, you name it! And let me tell you, it’s not just a few folks; it’s a full-on massacre. Talk about a family feud!
Reader: Yikes! Who’s behind all this chaos?
Critic: Enter the charming yet shady white folks—specifically, Ernest Burkhart, played by Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s got that “aw shucks” demeanor but is knee-deep in the nefarious plots of his uncle, William Hale, aka “King of the Osage Hills,” who’s basically the puppet master of this whole operation. Hale’s got dollar signs in his eyes and a knack for getting rid of anyone who stands in his way. Spoiler alert: he’s not winning any “Best Uncle” awards!
Reader: And what about the investigation?
Critic: Ah, the plot thickens! After enough bodies drop to fill a Texas-sized graveyard, the feds finally get involved. This is where the FBI is born—yes, the same FBI that will eventually chase down mobsters and aliens! They send in a guy named Tom White, played by Jesse Plemons, who’s basically a no-nonsense detective with a heart of gold. He’s got a tough job ahead of him, trying to untangle this web of deceit while navigating the prejudices of the time.
Reader: So, does he solve the case?
Critic: Well, he does his best! It’s like watching a game of chess where the other side keeps flipping the board. After a series of twists and turns that make you want to throw your hands up in frustration, the truth eventually comes to light. Hale’s crimes unravel, and the justice system—though slow and flawed—finally starts to catch up with him. But let me tell ya, it’s a long ride full of heartbreak and betrayal!
Reader: That sounds intense! Any final thoughts?
Critic: It’s a powerful story about greed, betrayal, and the fight for justice. Plus, it serves as a stark reminder of the darker side of American history. Just when you think it can’t get worse, it does! So, grab your favorite drink, because this tale will leave you both enraged and enlightened. And if you thought family drama was tough at Thanksgiving, just wait until you see what these folks go through!