Scary Movie 4: A Modern Shakespearean Spoof

Act I: The Arrival of the Uncanny

Enter CINDY, a damsel of great perplexity, and her noble companion, BRENDA, both clad in garb most befitting the realm of horror.

CINDY: Hark! What dread news dost thou bring, fair Brenda? Is it not the case that the world is beset by a fearsome foe?

BRENDA: Aye, Cindy! The specter of alien invasion looms o’er yonder horizon! The likes of which we hath never seen!

CINDY: But lo! What manner of creatures are these, these extraterrestrial fiends?

BRENDA: They are not unlike those from the tales of yore, but with a penchant for the absurd! Think not of terror, but of laughter!

Act II: The Quest for the Truth

Enter the villainous GENERAL, with a flair for the dramatic, and a penchant for over-exposition.

GENERAL: Fair maidens, heed my call! The world is in peril! We must unite to thwart the invasion of these green-skinned knaves!

CINDY: But how shall we combat such a foe? With naught but our wits and a few absurd gadgets?

GENERAL: Aye! For in the realm of comedy, weaponry is but a jest! Let us employ the might of slapstick and parody!

Act III: The Battle of Wits

As the plot thickens, the girls encounter odd allies, including a ghostly apparition and a wise-cracking handyman.

BRENDA: What manner of spirit approaches? Is it friend or foe?

GHOST: Fear not, for I am but a spirit of comedic timing! I shall guide thee through this farcical nightmare!

Act IV: The Climax of Absurdity

As the aliens descend upon the Earth, chaos ensues, with scenes reminiscent of “The Grudge” and “Saw,” all wrapped in a cloak of silliness.

CINDY: Behold! The aliens approach! Their leader, a creature most grotesque, doth resemble a malfunctioning toaster!

BRENDA: Quick! We must distract them with a dance of mockery! For what do they fear? The rhythm of our laughter!

Act V: The Resolution of Ridicule

With a final showdown that involves an absurdly exaggerated battle of wits and a ridiculous amount of slapstick, the girls emerge victorious.

CINDY: The invaders are vanquished! Their laughter, a sweet victory!

BRENDA: And thus, we return to our mundane lives, forever changed by this ludicrous escapade!

GENERAL: And remember, dear audience! In the world of horror, it is laughter that conquers all!

Exeunt omnes, leaving behind echoes of laughter and the faintest trace of absurdity in the air.