A Review of Torque: The Most Ridiculous Ride You’ll Ever Take
Welcome to the wild world of Torque, a film that is to motorcycling what a cat is to a vacuum cleaner: baffling, chaotic, and entirely too loud. Starring the ever-charming Martin Henderson as Cary Ford, this movie is a high-octane joyride that leaves logic in the dust and physics in the rearview mirror.
Our story kicks off with Cary, a motorcycle enthusiast who has the unique problem of being chased by a gang of leather-clad lunatics. Why? Because he’s been wrongly accused of offing a member of a rival gang. In a plot twist that makes about as much sense as a kangaroo in a tuxedo, Cary’s old rival, Trey (played by a brooding and equally confused Ice Cube), is out for blood. Spoiler alert: it’s not just Cary’s blood he’s after; it’s his whole life!
As Cary tries to escape the wrath of Trey, who looks like he’s just walked off the set of a bad music video, he decides that running away is the best option. Because, you know, that’s how you solve problems—by revving your bike and hoping for the best! Along the way, he recruits his ex-girlfriend, Shay (the stunning Monet Mazur), who seems to have a knack for getting involved in Cary’s ridiculous escapades. Seriously, Shay, you need to get better taste in men—or at least a better GPS for tracking your life choices!
Now, let’s not forget the other gang members, who are more like a poorly organized flash mob than a fearsome motorcycle crew. They zoom around town like caffeinated squirrels, and their idea of a showdown involves more stunt work than an entire season of America’s Got Talent. There’s a scene where they chase Cary through a city, and it’s all very thrilling until you realize that they’re literally just riding in circles. Someone call the police—oh wait, they’re busy being completely useless.
In a climactic showdown that can only be described as “what on earth were they thinking?”, Cary and Trey face off in a race that involves more explosions than a Michael Bay film. We’re talking about bikes flying through the air, cars flipping like they’re auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and a general disregard for the laws of gravity. In the end, Cary manages to clear his name (because of course he does), but not before we’ve all collectively questioned our sanity for spending 84 minutes watching this madness.
So, if you’re in the mood for a film that combines the thrill of motorcycle chases with the coherent storytelling of a toddler on a sugar rush, Torque is your ticket. Just remember to check your brain at the door, buckle up (or, you know, don’t), and prepare for a ride that’s as absurd as it is entertaining. And hey, if you find yourself laughing uncontrollably at the sheer ridiculousness of it all, you’re not alone. Cheers to that!