Friday the 13th: A Tragicomedy of Campy Proportions
Act I: The Campfire’s Glow
Enter the Camp Counselors, bright-eyed and cheerful, carrying the weight of youthful hubris.
JULIUS: O fair counselors, gather ’round, for the sun doth rise upon this hallowed ground! Crystal Lake, a paradise reborn, where laughter and joy shall be our adorn.
PORTIA: Aye, well said, good Julius! But hark! What whispers through the trees, like a ghostly breeze?
JULIUS: Fear not, sweet Portia! ‘Tis but the wind, or perhaps a lurking legend, long since thinned.
They chuckle, unaware of the lurking doom that awaits them.
Act II: The Rising Tide of Doom
As night falls, the counselors engage in merriment, unaware of the shadow creeping closer.
PORTIA: Let us sing and dance, for the moon is bright! What harm could befall us on this fateful night?
JULIUS: Aye! But what of the tales of yore, of a mother’s wrath and blood on the shore?
ANOTHER COUNSELOR: Pish posh! ‘Tis but a tale to scare the younglings, surely nothing more than the rustling of insects’ wings!
Enter the ghostly visage of PAMELA VOORHEES, her face twisted in sorrow and rage.
PAMELA: Thou dost tread where my heart hath bled! For in this very camp, my son was left for dead!
JULIUS: What’s this? A mother’s grief, a tale so steeped in horror? Surely, we jest, and the night shall bring no terror!
PAMELA: Nay, foolish youth! The game is afoot! Prepare thyself, for I shall not be put!
With a swift motion, she vanishes into the shadows, leaving behind a trail of dread.
Act III: The Game of Death
As the counselors scatter, one by one, they fall prey to the lurking menace.
PORTIA: Wherefore art thou, dear friends? I feel a chill, as if the very air doth kill!
ANOTHER COUNSELOR: Fear not, dear Portia! It’s but a prank! A dark jest to scare us from our rank!
Suddenly, a loud CRASH echoes through the camp, and the counselors scream!
JULIUS: What folly is this? A prank gone awry? Or hath the spirits of the lake come to vie?
PAMELA: ‘Tis no jest, young Julius! The time hath come to play! The game of “Kill the Counselor” is now in sway!
With each turn of the night, counselors meet their doom, as Pamela’s wrath fills the camp with gloom.
Act IV: The Final Revelation
PORTIA: O woe! What madness hath befallen us, that we should suffer such a terrible fuss?
JULIUS: The tales were true! The mother’s love, twisted and cruel! We are but pawns in her tragic duel!
In the final act, Pamela reveals herself to the last standing counselor, a twisted smile upon her face.
PAMELA: Thou thought thy laughter could drown my sorrow? Nay! I shall reclaim my son, today!
JULIUS: O fate most cruel! To think we came to play, yet here we lie, where innocence decayed!
PAMELA: And so, the camp shall close its doors, for no more shall laughter echo on these shores!
As the lights dim, the stage is left in silence, a testament to the folly of youth and the wrath of a mother’s love gone awry.
Finis.