Rambo: First Blood Part II – A Shakespearean Spoiler Review

Act I: The Dilemma

Enter Rambus, a brooding warrior, shackled in a federal penitentiary.

Rambus:
What foul fate hath brought me low,
To dwell in chains while the world doth glow?
A proposal comes from yonder men,
To free me from this darkened den!

Colonel Trautman:
Fear not, brave Rambo, for hope is nigh,
A mission awaits, where eagles fly.
To Vietnam thou must return,
For the sake of peace, thy vengeance shall burn!

Rambus:
Aye, Colonel, I shall heed thy call,
To face my foes, both great and small.
But lo! What treachery awaits me there,
With corrupt officials lurking everywhere?

Act II: The Mission

With a flash of muscles and a glint of steel, Rambus embarks on his mission.

Rambus:
Through jungles thick and rivers wide,
I’ll find those POWs, with honor as my guide.
But hark! A trap, a devious scheme,
The very officials I thought would redeem!

Corrupt General:
Ha! You think you can save them, dear Rambo?
My plans are set, like a well-placed bow.
You’re but a pawn in this dangerous game,
The war’s not for freedom, but for power and fame!

Rambus:
Thou villain! Thy heart is as cold as the night,
But I shall prevail, with all of my might!
With arrows and guns, I’ll unleash my wrath,
And carve a bloody path in this treacherous path!

Act III: The Showdown

A cacophony of battle erupts, with explosions and arrows flying.

Rambus:
Behold! The enemy falls like leaves in the breeze,
I’ll save my brothers, if it brings them to their knees!
(Rambus single-handedly defeats a battalion, because why not?)

Corrupt General:
No! How can this be? My plans are undone!
You’ve thwarted my schemes, you’ve spoiled my fun!

Rambus:
Your fun was a farce, a grotesque charade,
But now justice reigns, and your empire will fade!
(Rambus rescues the POWs, but not before delivering a one-liner that would make any action hero proud.)

Act IV: The Aftermath

The dust settles, and peace is restored, but at what cost?

Rambus:
I return not as a hero, but a man with a scar,
A warrior of sorrow, a lone shooting star.
The war may be won, but peace is a riddle,
For in saving my brothers, I’ve played a cruel fiddle.

Colonel Trautman:
You’ve done what was right, despite the despair,
A hero you are, though you may not care.

Rambus:
A hero? Nay, just a man who fights,
In shadows and chaos, amidst the dark nights.
(He walks off into the sunset, muscles rippling and angst palpable.)

Exeunt all, leaving behind the echoes of war and the promise of a sequel.