Scary Movie 3: A Tragicomedy in the Style of Modern Shakespeare

Act I: The News Unfolds

Cindy Campbell: What light through yonder television breaks? A series of dark portents dost threaten our realm! An alien invasion, they say, with a video of doom!

George: Pray tell, fair maiden, dost thou speak of the cursed tape? The one that brings death to all who gaze upon it?

Cindy: Indeed! My heart doth tremble at the thought! But lo, I must gather my courage, for the fate of the world rests upon my shoulders!

Act II: The Gathering Storm

Shorty: Hark! What news from yon field of corn?

Cindy: Circles of crops, they say, are the work of the extraterrestrial fiends!

Shorty: And I hath seen strange children with eyes that could pierce the very veil of night!

Cindy: Aye, and let us not forget the rapper who doth aspire to greatness—his ambition as lofty as the stars!

Act III: The Prophecy Revealed

Orator: Behold! The prophecy speaketh of the Chosen One, who shall bring balance to the chaotic realm!

Cindy: But who art this chosen hero?

George: Might it be thee, dear Cindy, who hath the heart of a lion and the wit of a jester?

Act IV: The Confrontation

Cindy: I shall gather my brave companions! Together we shall face the dread video and the alien hordes!

Shorty: And what of the one who doth dance with the moon, the King of Pop himself?

Cindy: Fear not! For a parley shall ensue, and we shall learn his secrets!

Act V: The Climax

Michael Jackson: Indeed, I have seen the future, and it is filled with peril!

Cindy: Then lend us thy strength, oh Moonwalker, for we must vanquish the evil that lurks in the shadows!

George: Aye! Let us confront the video and the aliens with all the might we can muster!

Act VI: Resolution

Shorty: The battle rages on, but lo! What trickery is this? The video is but a ruse, a jest upon our senses!

Cindy: We hath been duped! The aliens but seek to amuse, not to destroy!

George: Thus, we have saved the world, all whilst sharing a hearty laugh!

Cindy: Aye, let it be known, humor is the greatest weapon of all!

Finale: The Curtain Falls

All: Huzzah! For we have triumphed against the darkness, armed with laughter and a touch of madness!

Cindy: Let us revel in our victory, and dance like the fools we are, for in this grand tale, we are all but players!