Se7en: A Spoiler-Filled Review
William Somerset: So, David, ready to dive into the murky waters of human depravity?
David Mills: Absolutely! I mean, what could go wrong? It’s just a couple of murders, right?
William Somerset: Oh, just a couple of murders? Try a series of meticulously planned executions based on the seven deadly sins. Buckle up!
David Mills: Wait, what? Seven? Like, the sins? This is going to be one hell of a case!
William Somerset: Exactly. Our first victim is a glutton, and let me tell you, the scene is not for the faint-hearted. Picture this: they find a dude stuffed to the brim, literally, with food. It’s like a grotesque buffet gone wrong.
David Mills: Yikes! What’s next, a fashion show for sloth?
William Somerset: Close! The next victim is a slothful fellow who has been tied up and left to die in his own filth. Talk about a wake-up call to get your life together!
David Mills: This is getting dark! What about greed?
William Somerset: Ah, greed! Our next victim is a lawyer who gets sliced up for not sharing his wealth. The killer leaves a lovely little note: “You’re going to feel this in your wallet.”
David Mills: I can’t believe this is happening! What’s next, wrath?
William Somerset: You guessed it! The wrath victim is a woman who is forced to choose between her husband and her own life. Spoiler alert: she doesn’t choose wisely, and let’s just say it gets messy.
David Mills: This is like a twisted morality play! What about lust?
William Somerset: Oh, the lust victim is a real doozy. The killer sets up a scenario that’s both horrifying and revolting—let’s just say it involves a very unfortunate choice for the victim.
David Mills: I can’t even… what about envy and pride?
William Somerset: Envy is where it gets personal. The killer wants Mills to suffer, so he goes after his wife, Tracy. And pride? Well, let’s just say the final act is a gut-punch of epic proportions.
David Mills: No way! What happens?
William Somerset: The killer, John Doe, reveals his master plan. Mills ends up shooting him in a fit of rage, but it’s too late. The last sin is complete, and the whole thing leaves you questioning everything about humanity.
David Mills: So basically, we just went on a wild ride through the worst of the human condition, and I’m left with nothing but existential dread?
William Somerset: Pretty much! But hey, at least you’re not retiring just yet. You’ve still got a lot of therapy sessions ahead of you!
David Mills: Great, just what I need. A lifetime of therapy and a killer’s diary to sort through!
William Somerset: Welcome to the club, David. Next time, let’s just watch a rom-com, shall we?